American Apparel

Don't get me wrong. I shop american apparel for your basics just like anyone else. But after perusing the website today I came across the following items and just wanted to throw in my two cents.

The Mary Lou Retton

There is absolutley no reason you should be wearing this body suit unless you can do a triple axel double flip somersault split on a balance beam.

The FUPA pants

There is no reason a girl this skinny should have a fupa in a pair of high waisted bright blue skinny jeans. I would rather have acid thrown into my eyes than watch a woman of generous porportions wear these.

The "Scrimmage" Shirt

This shirt is called the Scrimmage Shirt. Clearly if this individual wore this shirt to oh lets just say a Football game - something tells me Johnny Macho is going to tackle him until his cropped shirt is suffocating his gay face.

The Fanny

Let's just say my mom goes into american apparel and picks this puppy up as a treat to herself. Suddenly the AA fanny is not so hipster and not so cool when Mama Sue is rockin this thing over her floor length denim dress with flower applique.

The AC Hooker

I bet a girl, a really elegant girl, named Cherry, owns these outfits and is keeping American Apparel Stocked with them. She's the classiest and luckiest girl in Atlantic City.

The "You can see my Vagina"


Honestly I don't know a time when I don't want to spend the day with people seeing my pepperoni nips and roast beef vajay through my outfit.